Christmas Post Link

Check out my guest blog post (and all the other great stuff) at the Doormouse House. Merry Christmas!
http://www.doormousehouse.com/2014/12/making-christmas-merry-well-be-home-for.html?m=1

Why I Choose to Celebrate Halloween with My Kids (and Why I Totally Respect You if You Don't)

I know I promised more posts about mental illness, and they are coming, but this is a timely subject on which I feel led to share my thoughts.

Halloween is such a controversial topic in Christian circles.  Many choose not to celebrate, some celebrate with alternatives such as "Harvest Festivals", some celebrate traditionally (with or without feeling some measure of guilt).  My extended family has fallen into all of these categories at different points in time, and it is only recently that my husband and I have chosen where we want our nuclear family to land.

I have chosen (and Hubby has been reluctantly supportive) to celebrate Halloween in a semi-traditional-but-slightly-unique manner.  We made this decision for 2 reasons:  1) Halloween is a popular holiday in our neck of the woods, and the neighborhood is out in full force.  Participating affords us the opportunity to get to know our neighbors, and let them get to know us.  This in turn has led to open doors for witnessing to at least one family, and we hope more in the future (Matthew 5:16; 1 Peter 3:15). 2) We don't want our kids to live in fear of any day, or to see anything as beyond the redemptive work of the God who created every day/thing and is going to redeem them all (Romans 8:19-23).

So how do we celebrate something with so many evil associations in a God-honoring way?  We must be careful not to fall into blindly going along with all of the world's traditions. (Colossians 3:17; Romans 12:2).  This is a difficult line to walk, and I have great respect for those families who choose to "run to the other side of the street" as it were.  Here are the guidelines that rule our family Halloween celebrations at this time.  We are open to changing them, or giving up Halloween altogether, if in the future we find that these guidelines no longer meet our goals for raising godly kids.

Decorations
We do decorate our house for Halloween, mostly the front porch area which will be seen by trick-or-treaters.  We want our home to look festive and welcoming to our neighbors, so that they will know we are "open for business" on Halloween, and so they will want to come interact with us.  We don't do anything scary, undead, or occult, though.  Mostly we use jack-o'-lanterns, with a few kittens, bats,  leaves, and scarecrows thrown in.  More on jack-o'-lanterns...

Jack O' Lanterns
We have lots of cardboard jack-o'-lanterns for the windows, as well as real and faux lighted ones.  One specific faux lighted pumpkin (Funkin) is painted teal (more on that later), and now that Buddy Bear is old enough to help, we are starting to carve real ones each year.  Before or during carving, we read The Parable of the Pumpkin Patch by Liz Curtis Higgs--which I encourage you to read no matter what you choose to do about Halloween!  As we decorate with jack-o'-lanterns, we remind each other that Jesus cleans out our gook (Psalm 51:10, among others), and makes us a Light for Him (Matthew 5:14).

Costumes
I'll be honest, there is no deep spiritual significance to our use of costumes at Halloween.  We just like cosplay for fun.  We wear Halloween-style costumes for birthday parties and our annual church New Year party as well.  We like to play dress-up.  But we have very strict rules about the nature of our costumes.  Nothing undead.  Nothing occult.  No serial killers or anything bloody like that. Nothing too sexual/revealing.  Weather appropriate.  We mostly choose cartoon characters, literary characters, superheroes.  I like to do group costumes.  Sometimes it is a struggle to get Hubby to participate, but he's coming around to it (this applies to other times of year as well, so I see it more as him being a fuddy dud that is learning to have fun).

Trick-or-Treating
I'm kinda not a big fan of trick-or-treating, for various reasons, but we do it as long as we are going with other families with whom we are trying to build relationships...sometimes the walk on Halloween is the only time I get to chat with the other busy neighborhood moms, and the kids bond as well.  If there is ever a time that we don't have friends to go with, we will stay home.  And there is never going to be a time when I let my kids go without me--it is a witnessing opportunity for me as well, plus a safety issue.  If they are too old to take their Mommy trick-or-treating with them, they are too old to go.  Period.

Treats That We Hand Out
Some kids have allergies.  But even kids who don't get waaaaaay too much unhealthy candy on Halloween.  So we give out allergy-friendly, non-candy items.  This year, we've added a teal pumpkin and a sign to our decoration, so that families with dietary restrictions know that it's safe to come to our house (check out this link and this link to learn more about the #TealPumpkinProject).  In striving to be a witness to our neighbors, we also make sure that these items have some sort of Christian message, or at least Christian symbolism on them.  It might be as simple as slapping a cross sticker on a cheap bottle of soap bubbles, but it lets our neighbors know that there are Christians in our home.  Especially because we make sure that what we hand out is safe for everyone, it shows that we as Christians care about our neighbors.

There are lots of good, Biblical reasons NOT to celebrate Halloween.  We have close family and dear friends who are adamantly against it, and we would never try to force our choices on them.  I consider this one of what the Apostle Paul referred to as "disputable matters" that should never be divisive within the Body.
Romans 14:5-6
In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable. Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God. 
(NLT)
Colossians 2:16-17
Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.
(NIV)

Keep It Kute!

Dance in Your Undies

And he said to them, "You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition!" Mark 7:9

A little context here: The scribes and Pharisees were looking for dirt on Jesus, and they thought they literally found it on His disciples' hands.  See, the disciples hadn't washed their hands exactly the right [ceremonial] way before eating. The Pharisees had added TONS of laws to God's Law, oral tradition passed down (supposedly from Moses), which was given the same weight as the actual Word of God.

Does that sound at all familiar?

"If you were a real Christian, you wouldn't watch that TV show."

"If you were really godly, you would serve in xyz capacity."

"You aren't a wife of noble character because you work outside the home."

"It's a sin to play cards."

"Dancing is of the devil."

Oooh, let's tackle that last one, shall we?

2 Samuel 6:

12Now it was told King David, saying, “The Lord has blessed the house of Obed-edom and all that belongs to him, on account of the ark of God.” David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom into the city of David with gladness. 13 And so it was, that when the bearers of the ark of the Lord had gone six paces, he sacrificed an ox and a fatling. 14 And David was dancing before the Lord with all his might, and David was [h]wearing a linen ephod. 15 So David and all the house of Israel were bringing up the ark of the Lord with shouting and the sound of the trumpet.

16 Then it happened as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David that Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.

17 So they brought in the ark of the Lord and set it in its place inside the tent which David had pitched for it; and David offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the Lord. 18 When David had finished offering the burnt offering and the peace offering, he blessed the people in the name of theLord of hosts. 19 Further, he distributed to all the people, to all the multitude of Israel, both to men and women, a cake of bread and one of dates and one of raisins to each one. Then all the people departed each to his house.

²⁰ But when David returned to bless his household, Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said, “How the king of Israel distinguished himself today! He uncovered himself today in the eyes of his servants’ maids as one of the foolish ones shamelessly uncovers himself!” ²¹ So David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me above your father and above all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord, over Israel; therefore I will celebrate before the Lord.²² I will be more lightly esteemed than this and will be humble in my own eyes, but with the maids of whom you have spoken, with them I will be distinguished.” ²³ Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.

What if all those other "ought tos" and "not good enoughs" had just as little biblical basis?

Now, sometimes we are sinning, and our siblings in Christ need to call us on it.  But often, the "rules" we impose upon each other either have nothing to do with Scripture, or are someone's interpretation/extrapolation of Scripture.  

Maybe they are being hypocrites like the Pharisees.  Or maybe they've just found something that works for them in their relationship with God, and they want to share.

So next time someone tells you what you should or shouldn't be doing as a Christian, don't get mad and defensive...and don't start beating yourself up.  Simply say, "Thank you for your concern."  Then, weigh their "advice" against the Scriptures.  If the Bible says the same thing, then it's time to start living it.  But if the Bible says something different, or is silent...well, just dance to the tune God is playing for you.

My Heart for Lent

I am not Catholic, but I celebrate Lent.  Nobody else in my family (with the possible exception of the Catholic relatives) makes a big deal out of Lent.  In fact, my husband is dead set against it, for the same reason he hates New Year's resolutions.  Cody believes if you need to change something in your life, you just do it right away.  However, the season leading up to Resurrection Sunday has become very meaningful to me since I started college almost a decade ago.  Some years I give something up; other years I add a discipline to my life.

 I am careful to choose something that will help me to walk more closely with Christ, but not something that needs to be a permanent change.  So I will never give up something I know to be sinful for Lent--that is something I will work to eliminate from my life no matter the time of year.  I also will not give up something that I cannot realistically do without--for instance, chocolate--for a whole month or more.  I don't want to set myself up for failure.  Finally, I won't add something I should be doing all the time (such as prayer or Bible study) because I don't want the end of the season to be an excuse to stop doing that discipline.

My freshman year of college was the first time I celebrated Lent. I am thankful to my prayer partner at the time (Rachel) who helped me to see that a Protestant could indeed observe the season. It was also the most difficult logistically.  I had to amend my promise to God because I could not completely avoid the thing I gave up.  I chose to give up secular music (including songs that were not explicitly Christian even if sung by Christian artists, e.g. no Steven Curtis Chapman love songs).  Obviously, it was impossible to cut all secular music from my life, as I realized as I waited in the student lounge to meet some friends later that evening.  BET music videos definitely don't count as Christian music!  So I told God, "Well, you know I meant well.  I promise not to listen to secular songs on my own."  Now I don't think there is anything sinful about listening to secular music.  I quite enjoy it.  I don't want to give it up permanently.  But that year as I prepared my heart for Resurrection Sunday, my personal playlist was focusing my mind on the risen Lord.  It was very powerful!

The following year, I gave up watching TV by myself.  This was another one that had to have a caveat, and only partially due to the inevitablity of walking into a room where someone was watching TV.  That Lenten season was less powerful; less of a sacrifice, as I did not have to give up my favorite shows.  I watched all my faves with my mom; and I would not give that up because it was important to her that we spend that time together.  However, it was still a good discipline for me, because I was wasting less time watching random shows alone.  I spent the extra time reading, planying board games with my parents, praying, listening to music, and studying.  I think maybe I even cleaned my room (I know I cleaned it at least once that year).

I honestly don't remember what I gave up the next year.  I think maybe I forgot to celebrate Lent.  Whoops!  Thankfully, we are "saved by grace through faith, not by works lest any man should boast."

 2006 was another powerful Lenten season.  I love to write, but I do not discipline myself to spend the time writing...really, anything.  Also, I had a brand new boyfriend who tried to convince me that it was legalistic and hypocritical to celebrate Lent.  I think he's mellowed out some over the years ;-).  So I decided to ADD a discipline.  For each week of Lent, I was going to write a letter to someone in my life whom I wanted to encourage.  The first letter was to my Czech penpal/spiritual daughter, Susie.  I wrote a letter to a former crush, thanking him for his friendship and for realizing that we were not meant to be together (and telling him all about the new man in my life, because he was the type to actually be happy for me and give me godly advice).  I wrote a letter to said boyfriend...it was rather sappy, and as we'd only been together for a few weeks, I think it terrified him.  I wrote a letter to my best friend, who was away at college.  I wrote a letter to a little girl at church whom I was mentoring.  I wrote a letter to a young woman in my campus ministry who was going through a difficult time.  It was neat to reach out to others from the heart and gifts the Holy Spirit gave to me.

The next year I gave up reading novels--something I spend a lot of time doing-- and read only textbooks, theology books, biographies, and the Bible.  This was a stretching time for me; I learned a lot of new things about God and about the world around me because I didn't waste time with fiction.

The first Lent that I was married, I gave up caffienated beverages.  I do not say caffiene, because I still ate chocolate in its solid form.  But I did not drink hot chocolate, soda, or tea unless it was caffiene free.  That was probably the most painful Lent ever; for more reasons than one.  To begin with, I was something of a caffiene addict.  I could not get through the day without a caffeinated soda or a cuppa for breakfast.  I had to learn to depend on God, sleep at a decent time, and cope with headaches.  But I am sooo thankful the Lord led me to give up caffiene, for if I hadn't, I would to this day be wondering if caffeine was the cause of the greater pain I faced that Lenten season.  On Maundy Thursday of 2008, I lost my first child to miscarriage.  As it was, I blamed myself for his (her?) death.  As it was, I dropped out of school.  As it was, I became suicidal.  If I had been addicted to caffeine at the time, I would still believe that I had murdered my baby.  However, Beans' brief life and death made that Lent the most meaningful of my entire life.  For the day after my miscarriage, my husband and I attended the Good Friday service at our church. I understood, perhaps for the first time "how great the pain of searing loss" our Father faced as He watched the death of His Only Begotten Son.

I can't remember for sure, but I think 2009 was the year I gave up Facebook.  My timeline seems to support that theory.

I think I was too sick in 2010 to remember to do anything for Lent.  I was just puking my guts out and praying to still be preggo by Good Friday, considering that I'd lost a baby during each Lent I had been married.

Last year, I added something.  I know I did.  I just can't remember what.  Did I write letters again?  I think maybe...or I did something around the house that is normally Cody's responsibility.  Or both.  I'm not sure.  I had mommy brain.  But I know I did something...I think.

This year I am giving up fanfiction.  Because I love fanfiction, but I spend entirely too much time reading it when I should be reading my Bible, doing chores, or hanging out with my hubby.  And because I spend entirely too much time writing it when I should be writing original novels that I could actually, I don't know, maybe publish?

Do you celebrate Lent?  Why or why not?  If you do, how do you do so?

Keep it Kute!

B-Day Gifts and Mother's Day Gifts

The art from Casey's  b-day card

I made sidewalk chalk with eggshells and food coloring and paste.  The  cupcake crayons were melted broken crayons.  You can get both of these recipes from this book.

The Mollster and the doll hat I accidentally made for her.

Sarah looking at the amazing card I designed for her.

Sarah's Card

My portrait of Sarah

My first attempt at making corsages with Azaleas and Lilacs from my own garden.  My Mama Bear and I wore them to church on Mother's Day.

The hat and scarf I crocheted for Mama Bear.

Close-up of the flower on the hat.  I made it up as I went along, and I doubt I could duplicate it.

The other hat I crocheted for Mama Bear.  I always giver her a bear of some sort for Mother's Day.  Also, we are doing a panda theme for Bible School this summer.  I am going to make one for the Bear and one for myself.

The portrait of her kids and grandkid that I made for my MIL.

Keep it Kute!