A little context here: The scribes and Pharisees were looking for dirt on Jesus, and they thought they literally found it on His disciples' hands. See, the disciples hadn't washed their hands exactly the right [ceremonial] way before eating. The Pharisees had added TONS of laws to God's Law, oral tradition passed down (supposedly from Moses), which was given the same weight as the actual Word of God.
Does that sound at all familiar?
"If you were a real Christian, you wouldn't watch that TV show."
"If you were really godly, you would serve in xyz capacity."
"You aren't a wife of noble character because you work outside the home."
"It's a sin to play cards."
"Dancing is of the devil."
Oooh, let's tackle that last one, shall we?
2 Samuel 6:
12Now it was told King David, saying, “The Lord has blessed the house of Obed-edom and all that belongs to him, on account of the ark of God.” David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom into the city of David with gladness. 13 And so it was, that when the bearers of the ark of the Lord had gone six paces, he sacrificed an ox and a fatling. 14 And David was dancing before the Lord with all his might, and David was [h]wearing a linen ephod. 15 So David and all the house of Israel were bringing up the ark of the Lord with shouting and the sound of the trumpet.
16 Then it happened as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David that Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.
17 So they brought in the ark of the Lord and set it in its place inside the tent which David had pitched for it; and David offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the Lord. 18 When David had finished offering the burnt offering and the peace offering, he blessed the people in the name of theLord of hosts. 19 Further, he distributed to all the people, to all the multitude of Israel, both to men and women, a cake of bread and one of dates and one of raisins to each one. Then all the people departed each to his house.
20 But when David returned to bless his household, Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said, “How the king of Israel distinguished himself today! He uncovered himself today in the eyes of his servants’ maids as one of the foolish ones shamelessly uncovers himself!” 21 So David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me above your father and above all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord, over Israel; therefore I will celebrate before the Lord.22 I will be more lightly esteemed than this and will be humble in my own eyes, but with the maids of whom you have spoken, with them I will be distinguished.” 23 Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.
What if all those other "ought tos" and "not good enoughs" had just as little biblical basis?
Now, sometimes we are sinning, and our siblings in Christ need to call us on it. But often, the "rules" we impose upon each other either have nothing to do with Scripture, or are someone's interpretation/extrapolation of Scripture.
Maybe they are being hypocrites like the Pharisees. Or maybe they've just found something that works for them in their relationship with God, and they want to share.
So next time someone tells you what you should or shouldn't be doing as a Christian, don't get mad and defensive...and don't start beating yourself up. Simply say, "Thank you for your concern." Then, weigh their "advice" against the Scriptures. If the Bible says the same thing, then it's time to start living it. But if the Bible says something different, or is silent...well, just dance to the tune God is playing for you.